I agree entirely with Susan Brown, LCSW, when she uses the following to discuss infidelity:


“Talk about a killer of trust and commitment . . . here is the number one offender. My view on this deadly behavior is that this activity occurs as a result of the breakdown of the relationship, rather than being the cause of the breakdown. Do not mistake this as any kind of condoning of this behavior on my part. No way. I simply want to point out that people who are content and fulfilled within the marriage, virtually never look outside of it to fill themselves up. Affairs are often used as a way to lick one's wounds, to escape from the difficulties of the current relationship, to abandon the responsibility we have to work on the troubles in our relationships straight-up, rather than behind closed and secretive doors with someone else. Sorry folks, it doesn't work that way.”

Relationships can heal from this most devastating of betrayals, but full responsibility, remorse and true commitment to self-development must be the foundation for the healing. You must be willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust that's been lost. Nothing less will do. Many do not have the courage or character to take this on. If you do, you have the chance to create an even deeper, more meaningful relationship.