It would be unrealistic for any human being not to have certain expectations in a given situation. Our preconceived notions make it that way.  Sometimes the difficulty is that although we know our expectations have not been met, we are hard pressed to even say what it was we even expected... we only know it was “just not that”. The first problem occurs when we assume that our expectations should be met without having to share exactly what those expectations are to the person(s) supposed to be meeting them. The next problem occurs when rather than calmly letting our partner (or children!) know that we feel let down, we either internalize the disappointment, or become angry and lash out, and our partner (or children!) not knowing we had some expected outcome in mind has no idea what has just happened. Unfulfilled expectations often occur mainly due to our inability to let someone else know our needs and expectations, and then trying to find out how we can meet theirs. Contrary to popular opinion, it is not the other person's responsibility to fulfill your expectations. It is your job to learn to fulfill yourself, and then offer all you can to the relationship.